Things That Don’t Matter in the First 12 Weeks (From a Postpartum Doula and Mom of Two)

As a postpartum doula and mom of two, I’ve experienced firsthand the whirlwind of emotions and challenges that come with those precious first weeks. While there’s a lot of advice out there, it’s essential to focus on what truly matters. Here are five things to let go of and five that deserve your attention during this transformative time.

1. Routines vs. Gentle Patterns

In those first 12 weeks, your newborn is still figuring out day from night. Instead of stressing over rigid routines, focus on gentle patterns. It’s about flowing with their needs rather than enforcing structure.

2. The Perfect Nursery

Chances are, your little one will be close by in a bassinet. While a beautifully decorated nursery is lovely, what truly matters is your comfort and the bond you’re building with your baby.

3. Cuddling Too Much

You can’t spoil a newborn! Your instinct to hold and cuddle them is a natural expression of love. Embrace those moments—they’re crucial for both of you.

4. Doing It All Alone

It’s completely normal to need help in those early weeks. Accept support, whether it’s meal deliveries or sharing household tasks. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that you don’t have to do everything on your own.

5. Expecting Long Sleep Stretches

Most newborns won’t sleep through the night right away, and that’s perfectly okay. Frequent feedings are a part of this stage, so anyone promising long stretches of sleep at 6 weeks isn’t in touch with reality. This time is about bonding, healing, and adjusting to life together.

Remember: Everything else can wait. Your well-being and your connection with your baby are what truly matter.